So recently I finished submitting a novel for a competition. A J-novel competition, to be exact. And it has been a week since I started feeling pretty burnt out, and I just can't seem to motivate myself to do pretty much any creative work.
Not drawing, not writing, not making any videos. And weirdly, not even reading which is just consuming. And even when I'm playing games, I'm just unable to enjoy them. My body would simply going through the motions.
But being burned out is not a bad thing. After all, it's proof that you burned your body and mind to achieve something.
Right?
I'm not sure about that, actually.
Not being able to do anything is mentally painful. Like, I have this kind of existential crisis when I'm doing nothing. After all, doing ``something`` is also how I distract myself from the reality that my life is kinda crumbling, bit by bit.
Some of those comes from my own action and inaction, and some of them comes from the world around me just getting worse because our leaders are just a bunch of buffoons hellbent on making life worse.
I wonder if this is the right way to see a hobby. Seeing it as a place where I can run away from real-life responsibilities. The fact that I'm even writing this is already proof in itself that my mind has started spiraling down.
Simply because I have been burned out.
A wise man once said mental block can be bypassed by viole… I mean, by forcing it. And sure enough, when I tried forcing myself to do ``something`` I could physically do the thing. Whether it was drawing or writing.
But doing creative things without having your mind fully on it truly shows. Let me give you an example.
Can you see which one of these two drawings came out of me forcing it and which one I actually wanted to draw from my heart?
Sighhhh....
What should I do next?
Seriously, what should I do next?
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