An object at rest cannot move unless there is a force to make it move. That is one of the three Newton's laws we all learned in middle... school physics class?
But it turns out it doesn't only apply to physics. It also applies to the human psyche. When you stop doing something, it's much harder to start doing it again.
I have observed this phenomenon ever since I was little.
It's hard to muster the motivation to go back to school after spending time at a relative's house or being sick for a long time. Somehow, people and places that should feel familiar suddenly feel foreign again.
It's hard to reconnect with your old friends from grade school, middle school, or even high school after years and years of not caring about each other.
It's also hard to push yourself back into society after living like a recluse for a long time, fearing how you'll be judged by others.
And right now, I'm at the stage where I want to start my project again but just can't muster any motivation to do so because of various reasons.
As you have seen, I'm writing this blog. I love reading, and I also love writing novels as a hobby. I draw as a hobby too, and I make videos as well. Recently, I've also been dabbling in manga translation. And the good part is, I'm somewhat good at all of them.
Which, weirdly enough, is exactly the reason why I'm so troubled right now. It's like I'm caught in Gojo's Domain Expansion. When you can do anything, you can't do anything. In my case, even though I can do everything (on that list), I also can't bring myself to do any of it.
I have too many hobbies and too little time. And the worst part is, I think I currently have quite severe ADHD because of all the short-form videos I've been consuming over the past year.
It's been so long since I was able to focus on one thing and simply finish it. The last project I managed to complete was The Bleak Knight, which I published last May. But even that wasn't something I started and finished in one session, or a week, or even a month. It took me almost a year of writing and drawing to complete it. Mostly spent on procrastinating and getting distracted.
I've been in this place before, and I've managed to overcome this exact problem before too. So I know I can make it through this valley. The solution isn't complicated, either. Usually, I just need to DO IT instead of thinking about it.
But this time, it feels much harder to push through the mental block because of this phrase...
"Posting to the void."
You know how the internet works nowadays. Most of the things you make will end up in the stomach of the modern day monster called AI anyway. That really puts a damper on my motivation to do anything. Like, anything at all.
After all, you know that everything you create will disappear into the void, with barely any actual human ever seeing or reading your work. The sense of futility is just too strong.
This time, the valley I'm falling into feels much deeper than any I've fallen into before.
